i  gort trouble for the most weird things ever...i mean how come things always turn out to be wad i dun wan it to be? i was asking out of curiosity and she starts yelling at mii lyk a cow mooing...i just wanted to noe...ok nvm...forget tat...i just hate that oral so much...y do we even have to go so many times anyway? aren't they tired of it? oh..wish somehow he would have knew how to solve the problem...he will noe...hope to see him...but exam coming...there's no chance at all...arhz...y everything will just crap up in one day..argh..stupid day today..bb..now bb is another trouble...y are there so many things to solve? and most of it...can't run away..only to face..shit in the toilet..y izzit lyk dat every single time when i tink of things easily...everything comes vomitted out to mii asking mii to clear it up...life is so stupid...bb..bb.bb..bbb....argh..someone save mii...i put myself uop into another big mess...first i see mr ng...he gave mii an advice to look for mr maran to get information on how to write the proposal...lately, i nv even see him..even if i do, i just won bring my legs up to even try my best to walk to him speaking my fav in my heart..maybe i should have did it earlier..but i missed tat chance..i went home tat day when i was suppose to see him...maybe fate( which i shouldn't believe) made mii go home and nv wanna meet him and asked qns..afterall...today, i gort scolded for qns...so my curiosity have again been driven to the core and into the core...good gracious..this sux so much...argh...let see if tml will be a beta day..i really hope so too...God please bless my life for tml...i really wanna concentrate on nth but studies...i nid it for my career which i dun even noe wad...hwo am i suppose to even work against my goal when i dun even have one rite now...i dun even noe wad i wanna do when i grow up...arhh..i hate my life...i tink i beta end here...i haven been studying much later...Jesus...Look upon mii..i sonehow wish i dun have so many electrics in my life...or in any other students life...at least...there won be any addiction will it? ha...i'm so lame...weird...*junling**4bBid3n**stucked in the world full of freakin pissed off stuffs...argh..*

wow...i'm confused after so long....y? i feel so weird...i so keen on psalms...i love sheperd so much...but y did i have no heart rite now...i woulda been at woodlands rite now...y am i now typing my heart into this space i have...y? izzit mii myself with my imagination? or izzit tat this world just is being realistic to tell mii to commit my whole life to suicide while all continue their life...complicated? easy?no....i am just purely confused by myself...i'm too stubborn...too stubborn to be so very sad when i shouldn't be...y???y am i starting my y again and again and again....y do i have this so-called depression thing on mii ever since i noe this world and its cruelity...the sinners and the sin...i nv overcomed anything...i am just merely avoiding...and my avoidance reached its limits of avoiding this life i have...finally...so long le...i no longer have the integrity in mii...no ambition tat all has...no nothing....no heart on anything...i'm not the mii anymore....i am almost lyk a dead corpse walking...continuing life just for the sake of knowing the knowledge tat jiayan taught mii...God has given mii this life...y i dun take good use of it and choosing to aboden everything at this age? life still long ahead mii...i chose to give up...alot has pulled mii up and alot has made mii low...i am now currently caught in the middle of no where...confused in this comlicated mind....i dun understand y...i just dun understand...m i keepin everything to myself once again..making myself hate oncemore and hate lovee is my last resort to solve all problem...am i correct or wrong? am i doing a rite thing or wrong thing? y am i tinking so muc...i only a youth...y? y am i doing my life lyk a freak...y? y are ppl trying to interfere into my life ,forcing mii to do wad i nv said i wanted...y is the world so unfair? y is the love on earth? y is there hate? y?? y....do i really need help?? or i dun need it? i always hated counselling...y did i choose to find it when i am down...i shouldn't do it..i really shouldn't...it is bad for health...it is really bad for health...they make my life more difficult wad...no point going to the cabin and tell them my feels...they just wanna harm mii..no...they are righteous..they help us overcome this depressed mind...or really? ya...really..ha...u man are so damn childish...get over it man...u are stubborn enufff to listen? nono..listen to mii...tat is stupid if u go in and tell them ur mind...no point really!! trust mii...let mii lead ur way...let mii do everything for u...i can really make ur life the best of the best...fill urself with mii...get the childish way of u off this...throw it to the rubbish chute...she is wrong...i am right..i am RIGHT!!! HELP....

lolzz...i didn't slp the whole night sia...wad a miracle....die liao lor..later gt tuition...dunno if i can take it anot...scred later can't take in anything....but anyway i couldn't slp wad....even until now although i little bit tired liao, still dun really feel lyk slpin wad....haiz...todae caiwei jie bdae...i scaerd lyk hell...dunno y lor....someone make mii so scred for no reason...aiya...i tink hor, might as well go give present swim for a while den faster come up liao den go....den even if anything happen oso not my problem liao....haiz...only a bdae party almost lyk everyone going to die lor...lyk end of world...i siao liao lor....haiz....i just pray tat god will gimme a good day todae and everything goes on as planned( not as wad shuan kor plan) and everybody gets to have fun...actually horz, wad is the use of throwing cake lor....only ppl hu waste food then do tat lor....aiyo...dun sabo ppl and throw on their face lor...he or she must be the bdae gal...except all tat, others are not really allowed leh...so mr tan wen liang, dun do anything stupid worz....u sae i win liao lor...so u dun do anything stupid...tis is suppose to be fun u noe? FUN....For Ur Nerves to rest....u understand? so dun k?

lastly i wanna sae happy birthday to my dearest jie and may ur wishes come true..although u can't recieve the cake i wanted to give u, i just wan u to be happy...dun get so troubled over things....den oso must be lyk mii worz....cos i really have decided to change myself completely...shit...i dunno wad i tokin....maybe cos no slp so i liddat....forgive mii worz...paiseh.....k le lar...stop writing liao....i tink now i free better go write more testi lor...at least can waste time so i can have tuition later wif extra energy....must be energetic worz...so at least can listen and learn more...i now kuai kia...not lyk last time...so bad lyk hell...hehe....i tink i am writing more and more but i didn't noe it....k le lor...end liao....

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